First and Only Love
by Kei1
Summary: Started out as Part Four of Perfect, somehow turned into a prequel. Harry/Draco series, about how they fell in love in their first year pls pls pls read n review!
1. Drowning

# A/N: This is a prequel to the Perfect Series. It originally started out as Perfect-Part Four, but it kept extending so that it's too long to fit into a part! Thus it became a prequel instead. Actually, I think you will understand it better if you read the first 3 parts of Perfect first J Weird right? As I said before, authors just have no control over characters. I will probably finish this series before going on with Perfect.

# 

# This is a story about how Harry and Draco fell in love in their first year. As I don't own a copy of" Harry Potter and the Philosophy's Stone", the happenings below are based on my memory thus if there is anything that doesn't follow, please correct me. However some parts are deliberately changed so as to conform to this story. Also I know what written below is not likely to happen when they are only eleven. As can all of you pretend that with they attended Hogwarts first year, they were already fifteen or older?

## Thanks to all those great people who reviewed Soulmates, you are all angels! There's a section below dedicated to you. The biggest thank you is however reserved to my beta-reader, Asuka-san. She beta-read this is the shortest time possible!

## I guess I rambled on long enough, on with the story! Oh an extra reminder, this is SLASH! So those who don't like that can leave now J

## First and Only Love

## Part One

Drowning

He was looking at him again. 

Although Harry didn't turn around, he knew Draco was staring at him from the Slytherin Table. He didn't need to turn around; he could feel the pure fire from Draco's two silver eyes burning a pair ofholes into his back. Theywould be silver. Draco's gray eyes always turned silver when he was angry.

"Hey, Harry, Malfoy looks like he wants to kill you." Seamus, who sat across from Harry, commented as he reached for the muffins.

"Of course he would. He's angry Harry didn't die yesterday when Snape enchanted Harry's broomstick!" Ron cried heatedly.

Harry didn't answer. Somehow, he knew that wasn't the reason. 

"Just ignore him. He can't do anything anyway. The more pressing matter is to think about what Snape's up to and who this Flamel is," said Hermione logically.

"Yes," said Harry, thankful that the subject had beenchanged. "Let's go to the library after this."

"No," said Hermione. "Let's go _now__,_" she said firmly.

"Awww…but I'm not done yet," Ron complained, but he dutifully got up and followed the other two.

Harry didn't say a word, he was only too happy to throw himself into the research and get his mind off other stuff. Stuff that concerned the pair of silver eyes that followed him as he walked out of the Great Hall.

"All these books and nothing found! I can't believe this! We must have gone through more than half of the library already!  
" Ron moaned, dropping his head ontop of the dusty pile of books on the table in front of him.

"Don't give up! There must be something about Flamel in here somewhere. Besides, we haven't even gone through a quarter of the books yet," Hermione said determinedly.

"What I don't understand is, if Snape is up to something, what does it have to do with me?" Harry said. "I'm just a first year, what does killing me have to do with it? Why enchant my broomstick?"

"Are you dumb or what? You're Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived! Notice the capital letters? You _are_ Somebody! " Ron said, lifting his head up in and waving his arms for emphasis. "Besides, he probably just hates you and wants to get rid of you."

"No, there must be a reason. We heard him threaten Quirrel and he set that troll in the school. He wouldn't have done that if what he wanted was not important. If he just wants to get rid of Harry because he hates him, he won't do it now in case it affects his plans." Hermione said thoughtfully, pausing in the middle of a book.

Harry shook his head and said, "Never mind, I've had enough of this for a while. I'm going out to get some air."

"Great, I'll go with you!" exclaimed Ron in delight at the idea of freedom.

"No! The two of you aren't going to skive off now," said Hermione sharply. "If you want some rest, you can take turns. Harry, you go off first and come back in an hour, and then Ron can go. Ron, sit down now!"

Harry smiled sympathetically at Ron who sank down into his chair dejectedly. As he walked out of the library, faint mutters of "Stricter than Mum" and " three-headed Gorgon" drifted distinctly into his ears.

Harry was still laughing to himself when he rounded the corner and therefore didn't notice the black shadow that crept up to him. He stifled a cry as someone suddenly slammed into him from behind and pushed him into the empty Charms classroom next to him. 

He knew who it was almost instantly. Thus he wasn't surprised when the shadow turned him around, pressing him against the wall and he was treated to a close up of Draco Malfoy's face.

His whole body relaxed. Somehow, _somehow_, something in his heart knew Draco wouldn't hurt him. Even though he looked ready to commit murder, with his silver eyes flashing and his pale face even whiter than normal.

"What do you want?" Harry said calmly, making no move to resist the hands tightly gripping his arms.

"I overheard you in the library. Is it true? Snape enchanted your broom yesterday?"

"Why?" Harry thought about what Ron had said in the morning and smiled. "Sad that Snape didn't manage to kill me?"

The hands tightened around his arms, nearly cutting off the blood circulation. "_Don't joke with me,_" Draco hissed.

Harry still didn't struggle. "Why are you concerned then? Why do you care if Snape wants to kill me or not? You hate me."

Draco jerked with a start. And looked into Harry's eyes with shock.

Harry looked straight into his eyes. "Don't bother to lie. I know you hate me."

Draco shook his head with something akin to desperation in his eyes. "Just answer my question. Is Snape trying to kill you or not?"

He started gripping Harry's shoulder and shaking him fiercely shouting "Is he? Is he?" repeatedly.

'Like a night in a storm. Draco's eyes look just like the color of the night in a storm,' Harry thought in a detached way. Almost as if he was just an observer that didn't suffer through sleepless nights and troubled days over those very same eyes.

"Yes."

Draco stopped. "What?"

"Snape is trying to kill me."

Draco suddenly let go of Harry's shoulder and turned away.

Harry leaned against the wall and waited.

Draco turned back and Harry saw that he had his lower lip caught tightly between his teeth. Harry fought an unreasonable urge to stop him from mauling his lips.

"Promise me you won't play in the next Quidditch match."

"What?" Whatever Draco had been about to say, Harry hadn't expected this.

"You heard me. Promise me."

"No." There was no question, no doubt in his answer.

"Yes! You must promise me!" The hands were back to gripping him.

Harry almost sighed at the expected response. "No! I can't and I won't let Gryfinndor down."

"Is your life more important or that stupid title?"

"Why do you care?"

Draco flinched at the question. 

Harry felt the hands on him loosen and he quickly gripped Draco back and turned to press him against the wall. His turn.

"Why do you care if I live or die?" he repeated, adding more force to the question.

Harry gazed intently into Draco's eyes while he waited for the answer. And realized he didn't need one. How could he be so dense? He asked himself. It was so obvious. So very obvious, there in the silver eyes. He stared deeply into the eyes flooded with emotion. There was hate, true. But, there was also…love.

"You stupid git, why didn't you say a word???"

Without waiting for an answer he didn't need, Harry acknowledged what he had always known deep in his heart and bent his head to crush Draco's lips under his.

It wasn't a gentle kiss. There was too much passion in the both of them for it to be gentle. Harry's lips ravaged Draco's, taking and claiming what he knew was his before pushing his tongue into Draco's mouth without asking. There, he explored and conquered without mercy.

When it finally ended, both were breathless. Harry's arms were encircled tightly around Draco's waist and Draco's arms were wrapped around Harry's neck. Harry realized that Draco was trembling, shaking like a leaf in the wind, and pulled him closer. Draco buried his face into the warmth of Harry's neck.

For a while, both remained so, in silence. 

Harry thought he was dreaming when he saw a chord wrapping itself around the couple. It was a chord made out of light, a kind of ethereal light that was neither silver nor gold, yet both silver and gold. The light it gave out didn't spread to the whole room but stayed around the both of them, bathing them in a warmth that seemed unearthly. 

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Draco whispered into Harry's ears.

"You see it too?"

Draco nodded.

"What do you think it is?"Harry whispered back, to raise his voice seemed wrong somehow.

Draco shook his head, "I don't know. I never saw it before. Maybe it is some kind of fairy light." But his tone sounded unconvincing, fairy lights weren't strong enough to produce light thatbrilliant.

"Anyway, does this mean that you promise me not to play in the match next week?" Harry's safety was uppermost in his mind.

"I can't, you know that. The team depends on me." Harry was immovable on this topic.

Draco pushed himself away from Harry. "Then what is this?"

"This has nothing to do with it." Neither noticed the light growing fainter as the two moved apart. "I have my principles."

"So the high-and-mighty Harry Potter with principles is too good for me, is thatit?"

"I didn't mean it that way!"

"You were just playing with me, weren't you?"

  
"Unless you explain why I shouldn't play next week."

"Why should I? I would think that you with the great principles would be above it."

"You're unreasonable!"

"It appears that I am worrying for nothing." Draco said coldly. "I'm sure the great Potter can take care of himself." 

The light disappeared the moment Draco left the room.

Harry looked at his watch. There werestill twenty minutes before he was due back in the library but Harry decided to let Ron go off earlier. Suddenly, he was desperate to bury himself in the books and hopefully drown.

A/N: So how was that? Did you like it or hate it? Should I just dump this and go back to Perfect? Please, please give me reviews. I know I shouldn't be greedy but I do so want to have reviews, without them, it's hard to go on.

And the thanks. Many thanks to RatheraMutemwiya, Reklaw Enna, Unicorn Chick, Elice and Obession for the rave reviews! And to Alexander Slytherin, yes, I am Chinese and thanks for the recommendation; I'll look for it certainly. I try not to let any Harry/Draco fics get by me if I can! J And a great big kiss for Asuka-san both for the beta reading and the great comments!

Disclaimer: Any stuff you recognize belong to Rowlings, the rest to me.


	2. Revelation

# A/N: Firstly, I apologize for the long wait. J What with the holidays and school starting, I simply couldn't find the time to up this with all the mad rush going on. Many apologies. Next the thanks for all those who reviewed Part One. You're all angels.J There's a section after the story dedicated to all of you.

This is the second part of the prequel to Perfect. It is on how Harry and Draco fell in love in their first year. For the record, I'm bumping up their age here, they are fifteen when they attended Hogwarts First Year. Also, in case anyone missed the summary and didn't understand the above sentence, this fic is SLASH! So don't read if it's not your cup of tea J

Many thanks to Asuka-san and Health for beta-ing, any mistakes you see in there is entirely my fault for not listening to good advice.

Enjoy.

# 

# First and Only Love

## Part Two

Revelation

For the whole of next week, the animosity between the three friends and Draco increased. Draco reinforced the normal attacks and taunts against the three friends. And Harry retaliated with a force stronger than he usually do. He never imagined that he could hate anyone more than Dudley Dursley. Now he realized that it was not so. Draco Malfoy ranked first on Harry's personal hate-list.

Until the day before the match.

"Harry, you won't believe this!" Ron ran up to his best friend, gasping for breath.

"What?" Harry looked up from his Transfiguration essay, whichwas doodled on with a list of what he would like to do to a certain D.M.

"Snape's the referee for tomorrow's match!"

"What? He will _kill_ Harry!" This was from Hermione. Harry seemed to be struck dumb.

He just sat there, staring unseeingly at the parchment in front of him, eyes fixed on"#16. Castrate him." 

He felt as if the Weasley twins had just swung five Bludgers from five different directions into him. One in his face, one at the back of his head, one right on top of his head, one in his gut and the hardest one into his heart. He couldn't speak, he couldn't even breathe. All he could do was think, "_What did I do to him?_"

"Harry, you can't play," a distressed Hermione said. 

"Yup, break a leg or something." This came from Ron.

Harry turned his head to look at them. All he could hear was a desperate voice in his head. 

_"Promise me you won't play in the next Quidditch match. You must promise me!"_

_ _

With a cry, Harry suddenly stood up and rushed from the common room, ignoring the shouts from his friends.

He didn't ask anybody, but somehow, he just knew where Draco was. He ran all the way up to the unused room in the North Tower and burst through the door.

Draco was there, seating on the stone tower window in that way which was uniquely his, with one leg stretched out and one bent at the knee. He was looking out of the window and didn't look at Harry when he burst in.

Harry approached him slowly and stood silently next to him when he reached him.

"Are you still going to play tomorrow?" Draco asked softly, still not looking at Harry. He knew Harry knew now.

Harry let out an oath he hadn't known he knew, and pulled Draco off the window and crushed him into his arms.

"Why? Why didn't you tell me that Snape was refereeing that day? Why do you still care now?"

Draco didn't answer. He couldn't answer.

"Are you still going to play tomorrow?"

Harry sighed and pulled him to the couch in the room and sat down.

"Yes. I am."

With an angry cry, Draco sat up from where he was nestled in Harry's arms.

"Why? You know Snape wants to kill you? Are you so eager to die?"

"I have to play for the team. For Gryffindor. For too long, I didn't belong to any family. Now, Gryffindor is my family, I can't let them down. Besides, giving up in the face of danger is against my…" Harry stopped, remembering the storm this word hadstarted before.

"…principles." Draco finished for him. He stared into Harry's eyes. "I hate you."

"I know," Harry smiled. He drew Draco back into his arms. 

"I promise you I will not die tomorrow," he whispered into Draco's ear.

"You better not, or I will follow you to death and make your life there worse than hell," Draco threatened.

Harry laughed. "You already make my life here worse than a living hell."

"It will be even worse," Draco promised before drawing Harry down into a kiss to cut off any further retort.

It was a tender kiss compared to one they had shared before. Yet it was tinged with a sense of desperation resulting from the thought of the danger Harry would be facing the next day.

And it was the kiss Draco thought of when he sat down in the stands the next day. No one was more thankful than he was when he saw Dumbledore coming out with the other Professors. With Dumbledore there, he knew Harry was safe.

They met again after the match, behind the Quidditch stands, now emptied after everyone went

in to celebrate or sulk.

"See? I told you I wouldn't die," Harry grinned, fresh from the win and the shower.

"Yes, so you did." Draco leaned against one of the poles.

"What's wrong?" Harry frowned.

"What could be wrong? You won and you didn't die doing it."

"There is something wrong. You aren't looking at me."

"Forget it, Potter."

"Forget _what_? Are you trying to tell me that now I am not in any dire straits, you don't want to look at me anymore?"

"You're forgetting the point."

"What point?" Harry couldn't believe how calm and indifferent Draco looked.

"The point that I'm a Slytherin with a Death Eater father who, may I add, is out to kill you."

Shocked, Harry started to say something but stopped himself. He slowly nodded. "You're right. I did forget that." 

A deafening silence.

Harry couldn't stand the wait first. "I guess this is it right? Now we go back to being enemies."

Draco didn't answer. He just nodded.

"Then, I guess, I'll go back now," Harry said.

Harry stood and waited for Draco's response. There was none.

He looked at Draco for the last time, a slender figure leaning against the pole with his arms crossed. His shoulder-length white-blond hair flying as it was teased by the evening wind.

"Why does he have to be so beautiful?" Harry asked silently. 

When it was evident he wasn't going to get any answers, he turned and left. Ignoring the voice in his heart that told him he was leaving the most important part of him behind.

Only when Draco heard footsteps walking away did he turn. He watched Harry's figure steadily growing smaller and ignored the pain in his heart. He supposed that it was impossible not to feel pain when your heart shattered.

It was a test. He wanted to see if Harry cared about him enough to ignore his dubious background, and all of the other negative points about him. If he didn't, it showed that he simply didn't care enough. Didn't love him enough.

And Draco refused to accept less than enough. He would only give his heart once. And when he did give it, it would be to one that was worthy. One that didn't love him enough was not worthy.

Yet as Draco slowly walked back to the castle, he couldn't stop himself from wondering if his heart had long since been given away without his permission.

A/N: So, how was that? The third part is written but it is undergoing some changes now, so it may be a while again before I can up it. Please tell me how you feel about the story so far. Is it too sappy? I think I read too much romance novels for my own good J Feel free to tell me if you hate it so far.

Now the thanks. Firstly the honors go to **Dia**, the first person the review Part One and kindly archived in her website. I promised to send Part Two to her long time ago and now I apologize for taking my own sweet time. Sorry, Dia J Next, **Reklaw Enna**, who reviewed all my fics so far and always gave me rave reviews. This is for you Reklaw Enna J And to **miasmas** , **Nataku's Child**, **Faye Valentine, ****[r i d d l e][1]**and **darkchylde **for being so sweet. And to **savrider** who read the fic although I think he doesn't read slash and didn't flame me. Also not forgetting **Zontar, **my friend who was blackmailed into reviewing for me J See, I told you I will thank you publicly.

As for those worrying about Perfect, thanks a million for your concern. Part Four is under way.

Till the next post, 

Love, Kei

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=29066



	3. Potions and Whiskeys

# A/N: Firstly, a big kiss for Cairnsy! It's her Percy that you see in this Part. Many thanks to her for letting me use him here. Many thanks to Health and Asuka-san for beta-ing too.And to those who reviewed Part Two.

This is Part Three of a romance series between Harry/Draco. Thus those who don't like slash can back out now.

Enjoy the story. J

# 

# 

# First and Only Love

## Part Three

## Potions and Whiskeys

For the whole of the next week, Harry and Draco went out of their ways to ignore each other. However, there were times when they were forced to stay in the same room. Friday's Potions, in the dungeons, was one.

"Today, we will be brewing the Curatious Potion. This is a healing potion that cures minor poisonous bites and stings from snakes and insects. More serious bites can only be cured with this potion after the adding of certain essential ingredients." Snape's voice remained a little higher than a whisper but was heard clearly by every person in the room. "However, today we will be making the normal potion."

Snape looked around the room. "Can anyone tell me the main ingredient for this potion?"

As usual, Hermione's hand shot up, and as usual Snape ignored her.

"Mr. Weasley."

Ron momentarily looked at a loss for words. "Erm…Ginseng?" Ginseng was an herb well known for its healing effects. Ron, who had used the Curatious Potion often but never bothered to find out what its ingredients were, just grabbed at the first herb to come to mind and prayed for the best.

"That's incorrect." Snape said, pleased. "Ten points from Gryfinndor. Well, I didn't expect any of you idiots to know anyway." He continued, ignoring the look of outrage from Hermione. "The main ingredient for the potion is nightshade."

"What? No way! That's poison!" exclaimed Ron, nearly jumping up from his seat. 

Hermione quickly pulled him down. "Shut up. It's true," she hissed.

"Twenty points for being rude," said Snape, amused at the little play. "Nightshade _is_ poison, but one of the oldest rules in potions is that one poison is often a cure for another. Poisonous plants are especially often cures for the poison in snakes."

Snape looked around the room and noted with satisfaction thatevery student was furiously taking notes. "Now, nine flowers are also essential ingredients for this potion. Other than that, there is one last essential ingredient. Who can tell me what it is?"

He again ignored Hermione's hand. "Mr. Potter?"

Harry looked up guiltily. "What?" He was only half-listening to Snape and didn't catchthe question.

"Thirty points for not paying attention in class," said Snape, annoyed. He always prided himself on being able to keep his students' attention in class, and it being Potter's he'd lost added to his anger. "Mr. Zabini?"

"Erm…some kind of tears?"

"Yes. Fifteen points to Slytherin. As most of you should know," Snape gave a pointed look to a Harry who seemed to be engaged in taking notes. "tears are known for their healing powers, with the most notable being phoenix tears. What we will be using here will be fairy tears, whose healing powers, while not of the same standard as the phoenix's, are also quite powerful in their own right. Now all of you will come, one by one, to get your ingredients. These ingredients are all quite rare and expensive; especially the fairy tears and the blue opium rose, so be careful with them. If anything goes wrong, you will not be getting more and will go without your marks for this lesson. Slytherins come first."

While waiting for their turn, Hermione and Ron whispered to Harry anxiously.

"Harry, what's with you, you have been acting so strangely this whole week! And not listening to Snape in class? This is the last straw! You know he's out to get you!"

Hermione looked down at the parchment that Harry was using. Except for a few words, namely "nightshade, poison, snake, flowers, tears", the parchment was simply full of doodles.

"Harry! What's the trouble with you?"

Harry shook his head. All he'd been able to think of since he'd come into the dungeon was that Draco was in the same room and he couldn't feel the familiar burning eyes on him. He wasn't looking at him anymore. Why did that hurt so much?

"Harry! We have to go up to get the ingredients now! For God's sake, pay attention! Don't lose any more points for Gryfinndor."

Harry stood up listlessly and followed Hermione.

On his way to Snape's table, he bumped into a person walking towards him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a vial filled with golden liquid fall. Instinctively, he caught it before it hit the floor.

Straightening up, he handed the vial to the person. "Here. Sorry."

When the person took the vial from his hand, he felt the touch of cold skin. He turned almost immediately. And looked into Draco's cold eyes.

Ice. Harry knew it was ice he saw in Draco's eyes. 

He watched Draco walk away without a word before letting Hermione pull him to Snape's table to collect his ingredients.

He thought about the possibility that he had seen a flicker of emotion in Draco's eyes before he had walked away, as he made the Curatious Potion mechanically. 

While he listened to Hermione and Ron talk about how Snape had taken away another ten points for deliberately tripping Malfoy, he suddenly thought that he could no longer feel the fire from Draco's stare because there was now only ice in his eyes.

That night, Harry's dreams were filled with a pair of icy slate-grey eyes. He woke up shivering. He gave up the idea of getting more sleep and went down to the common room. Hopefully, the fire there can warm him from the ice in the eyes that haunted him.

When he stepped into the room, he was surprised to see a red-headed boy sitting in the armchair in front of the fire.

"Ron?" Before the words left his mouth, he knew it couldn't be. He just left Ron in the dormitory. He was too tall to be one of the twins. Before Harry could wonder more, the boy had turned around.

"Percy? What are you doing down here at this time of the night?"

"Thinking of some stuff. And you? Don't you know it is way past the first-years' bedtime?"

"I couldn't sleep." Harry answered, sitting down in the chair opposite.

Percy nodded and they both fell into silence. Harry thought the prefect looked different that night. He seemed less pompous and righteous and more unsure of himself, more…vulnerable. He didn't even give him a lecture on breaking the school rules.

Harry sighed and looked into the fire. It wasn't warming him up but it was very comforting to look at the orange and red flames flicker and dance. He thought of the flicker of emotion he thought he saw in Draco's eyes today and wondered for the thousandth time if it was just his imagination.

He shook his head to clear his head of the many images of Draco clogged in there and noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. Percy was gripping his right hand tightly and loosening it repeatedly. He was turning his prefect badge with his left hand.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked, indicating to Percy's right hand.

Percy looked down at his tightly gripped hand and loosened it abruptly. "Practicing letting go."

Letting go.Harry lifted his right hand and stared at it. He tightened it into a fist and relaxed it. And thought of the night he walked away from Draco. He let something go that night.

"You never know how hard it is to let go until you have to do it."  
Percy seems to be talking more to himself than to Harry.

Harry knew Draco was testing him that night. He knew the moment Draco refused to look at him. He knew it was a test. Just as he knew he would not pass it. Could not pass it.

"If you know it is so hard, so painful, why are you still doing it?" Harry murmured in a voice less than a whisper.

"Sometimes, you don't have a choice."

He couldn't let himself love Draco. The person he was couldn't love Draco. Not with the Gryffindor background, the firm belief against everything associated with the Dark Side.

"Sometimes, you don't let yourself have a choice." Percy whispered, looking at the prefect badge in his left hand.

Something tugged at Harry's heart. Was it really Harry's background and beliefs stopping him from falling in love with Draco or was it just Harry himself? 

"If you let something, someone go…is it impossible to get it back?" Was it too late? Did he want it to be too late?

"I don't know." Percy looked up and Harry was shocked by the amount of anguish in his eyes. "I truly don't know."

Percy stood up and walked to the windows and stared out of it. He seemed to collect himself. "It's too late Harry, you should go back to your dorm."

"Right." Harry stood up awkwardly, wondering if he should say anything. "I'll go up now."

Harry slowly walked across the room and started up the stairs.

"Harry?" 

Harry turned; Percy still stood facing the windows. Harry saw that he was still clenching and unclenching his fist.

"I hope you never have to find out…if it is possible to get back what you let go."

Harry walked up to the dormitory without answering. If you do not want to find out if it was possible to get back what you let go, you must first never let go. It was too late for that for Harry.

Back in the common room, Percy looked out of the windows to the Quidditch field where a certain tall Gryffindor captain waited.

Percy knew that he knew. He knew Percy too well.

In the Quidditch field, a tall Gryffindor waited for Percy to come down to break his heart.

The next day Harry walked desolately to the Gryfinndor Common room. He carried a huge pile of books Hermione had made him borrow. She and Ron were still at the library researching for clues as to who Flamel was. Harry just couldn't make himself care for the research now. After catching him staring off into space for what must be the fiftieth time, Hermione had finally given up and told him to go back and get some rest. However, she had told him to carry the pile of books back so that she could continue researching even after the library closed.

The books towered so high that theyblocked Harry's view, therefore he couldn't see who it was when he was suddenly knocked down.

"Hey!" he cried, as he scrambled to get up. But his specs were knocked askew so his vision was blurred. He only saw a familiar figure walking away.

When he finally managed to stand up and right his specs, there were only a few second years standing aside laughing and a couple of fourth years walking by.

He shrugged and bent down to pick up the books, stacking them up so that he could carry them back to the common room. Nothing much could catch his interest those days. Except a pair of cold slate-grey eyes.

Suddenly, he noticed a piece of parchment lying on one of the books, _Famous Wizards of the Sixteenth Century_. He picked it up and turned it over.

_Meet me at the tower room tonight._

There wasn't a question as to who had knocked him down now.

Draco was already in the room when Harry arrived. He was sittingon the couch, sipping from a glass filled with amber liquid.

"What do you want?" asked Harry, as he stood in front of him, with his invisibility cloak flung over his shoulder.

Draco looked up into Harry's face before looking down again coolly. He poured a small amount of the amber liquid into another glass and handed it to Harry.

"Try some. This is one of Father's best wines."

Harry stared at Draco who walked to the window and was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

Harry sighed and lifted the glass to his lips and drank. And choked as the liquid scorched its way down into his guts.

Draco laughed. "I'm sorry. I spoke wrongly just now. This isn't one of Father's best wines. It's one of his best whiskeys. And you shouldn't drink so much in one go if you've never hadit before."

Harry finally stopped coughing and glared at Draco. "Is this why you wanted me to come tonight? To laugh at me?"

Draco set the glass in his hand down at the stone window and walked towards Harry. "Tsk tsk. Such a temper." He reached Harry, slid a hand up his shoulder and cupped his face. "You should really try to control it."The other hand slid up his spine. "You never know when a runaway temper might get away from you." The hands tightened as Draco pressed his body into Harry's.

Harry felt a tingling feeling all about his body. "What do you want? I thought we settled everything that night at the Quidditch stands?"

He tried to make himself push Draco away, but found that he couldn't make himself do it. Instead he said angrily, "If you are just having fun at my expense, I'm warning you to stop now."

Draco watched the conflicting emotion in Harry's eyes. "Am I having fun?" he murmured. "I think not - yet." And he pressed his lips onto Harry's.

Harry stood unmoving for a while. Before he groaned and gave in to the dark emotions flooding him. He let himself flow with the white-hot feelings raging inside him, rising and falling. When Draco thrust his tongue inside him, he felt as if he was being sucked whole into a darkness that was the silver-eyed boy.

When the kiss ended, Harry opened his eyes to look into Draco's eyes. Instead of the triumph he hadexpected to see, Draco's eyes weredark and brooding.

Harry let out a low laugh. "I was really dumb, right? I truly thought I could let you go."

Draco didn't answer. He just continued to look at Harry.

"Well, if that was what you wanted to prove, you succeeded."

Draco turned away and walked towards the window.

"I wanted to stop loving you."

Harry took a step towards Draco.

"Of all the people you couldlove, I must be the worst choice." 

His voice sounds so dispassionate. Harry wanted to say something, anything. But he just waited for Draco to continue.

"I don't know what I am doing. I want to keep myself away from you, I want to stop myself from feeling anything for you, not love, not hate…"

Harry caught Draco in his arms, "Not anymore than I can. Hate stems from love." He looked at Draco. The dispassionate tone came with a face with a helpless look on it. "We are fighting a futile battle. Dark side or Light side, no matter what you are or what I am, nothing can take me from you. Not even myself."

Draco found that he couldn't say a word. He just laid his head on Harry's shoulder. A luminous cord appeared again and seemed to bind them together. 

They didn't say anything this time but wrapped their arms around each other.

They held each other tightly for the rest of the night.

A/N: Well, how was that? Please review and tell me! Sorry for cutting out the long author's note and the thanks section, too busy now. I will be sure to thank all reviewers in the next part. You are all special to me…the fact that you took to time to review this story is what encourages me to go on. 


	4. Piano and Flying

# A/N: And finally we reach Part Four, the second last chapter. Let say three cheers! J A big thank you to all those special people who reviewed Part Three and to Health and Asuka-san for betaing.

This part is totally dedicated to a scene between Harry and Draco, to those who haven¡¦t realized it by now, this is a Harry/Draco SLASH fic. I hope you all like this part.

An extra note, please ignore all lines you see in there, they were a mistake I can¡¦t seem to get rid of, no matter what I try. If anybody can tell me how, I will be forever grateful. J

Please enjoy. 

# 

# First and Only Love

## Part Four

Piano and Flying

Pachelbel¡¦s ¡§Canon in D¡¨ filled the air. 

As he sat leaning against one armrest with his legs stacked on the other, Harry took up all the space on the long couch that was the only furniture in the room other than a white baby grand piano. 

He looked at the silver-blonde haired boy playing the piano.

Nobody but Dumbledore and Harry knew that Draco played the piano.Nobody but Draco, and now Harry, knew the password to the room. And no one but Harry knew how much Draco depended on it. Before Harry came along, music was the only way Draco had allowed himself to express his feelings. Without music, he would probably have lost his mind long ago. No one can keep a tight rein on their feelings twenty-four hours a day and still remain sane. Music was his only release. Therefore he allowed no one to hear him play, just like he let no one see his true emotions. Up till now.

Harry watched Draco as he played, his slender fingers moving effortlessly over the black and white keys, not swiftly but at their own pace. His face was devoid of expression, but Harry knew it was not due to the usual reason of hiding his feelings. It was simply because he was letting himself flow with the music.

Harry loved to watch Draco play the piano. It seemed that other than the time he spent with Harry, he was only happy when he was playing the piano. Therefore, Harry now accompanied Draco every time he practiced piano, which was twice weekly in the night. Another reason was that Draco truly played very well, and he shared almost the same taste in music as Harry. Soothing classical pieces, old, and occasional popular love songs. Sometimes Draco would go for a dramatic piece that Harry tolerated, but never any new age pieces. They both had too many troubles in their life to add to them by giving themselves a headache through heavy metal songs.

Thinking about troubles, Harry sighed. He looked at Draco and wondered if he knew. He would. He seemed to know everything Harry felt. Just like Harry felt everything _Draco_ felt.

Right then Harry was afraid that Draco could feel what he is was feeling, that he had betrayed his parents, Dumbledore and Gryffindor by loving Draco.

Harry was rudely interrupted from his thoughts when the softly flowing ¡§Canon in D¡¨ abruptly changed to the opening of¡§Phantom in the Opera¡¨. In fact, he nearly fell off the couch in shock.

He caught himself before he hit the floor and looked up to see Draco grinning behind the piano. He stopped playing.

¡§Hey, what¡¦s the idea?¡¨

¡§You weren¡¦t listening to me,¡¨ Draco accused.

¡§I was too. You were playing Canon,¡¨ Harry protested.

¡§No, you weren¡¦t. You were staring off into space thinking of God-knows-what,¡¨ Draco said matter-of-factly. He got up and walked to the couch. ¡§Move over.¡¨

¡§No.¡¨ Harry pouted; still mad over the stunt Draco had pulled.

¡§Fine.¡¨ And Draco proceeded to sit on Harry¡¦s stomach.

¡§Okay, okay.¡¨ Harry sat up and moved over to make space for Draco.

¡§You aren¡¦t happy,¡¨ Draco said quietly.

A pause.

¡§I knew I couldn¡¦t hide anything from you.¡¨ He looked over at Draco. ¡§I¡¦m sorry.¡¨

¡§Don¡¦t be. This has been the best month in the short time that has been my life so far. This is already enough.¡¨ 

¡§No.¡¨ Harry said with quiet conviction. ¡§It isn¡¦t enough. It never will be.¡¨

He shook his head slightly, as if to clear it of all his troubles. Then he turned to look at Draco. ¡§Are you finished for today?¡¨

¡§I guess. Why?¡¨

Harry grinned. ¡§Want to go night flying?¡¨

Outside of music, Draco¡¦s other love was flying. He didn¡¦t love it as much as Harry did, though. To Harry, flying was the release that music was to Draco.

¡§Is this Harry Potter I am hearing? You want to break the rules and go flying at this time of the night?¡¨ Draco teased.

¡§What? Draco Malfoy is afraid of breaking rules?¡¨ 

¡§Never. Let¡¦s go!¡¨

¡§All right!¡¨ Harry picked up his _Nimbus Two Thousand_, which stood in a corner. He told Ron and Hermione that he was practicing his Seeker skills in the evenings that he came to watch Draco play piano.

The two boys sneaked down to the Quidditch storeroom where Draco picked a _Cleansweep 5_. 

In five minutes, both boys were zooming throughthe air, their laughter echoing in the skies.

Harry purposely kept a hold on his faster broom to stay behind Draco. He watched as Draco skimmed ahead, his shoulder-length hair streaming behind him as he let out a shout of delight. Harry laughed and accelerated his speed to zoom past Draco. He did a few loops in the sky before returning to Draco¡¦s side.

¡§We should do this more often,¡¨ Harry said.

¡§Yes. I didn¡¦t know how much I missed the sense of freedom flying gives me until now,¡¨ Draco answered. ¡§Those lessons with Hooch can¡¦t compare to this, flying in the night with only the stars to light us.¡¨He turned to look at Harry. ¡§I want a try on that broom though.¡¨

Harry grinned. ¡§I expected that. We land there,¡¨ he pointed to a small field next to the greenhouses, ¡§and exchange brooms, alright?¡¨

¡§Sure,¡¨ Draco said, already shooting towards the field. They both landed at the same time and Harry handed his broom to Draco. After he climbed on the _Nimbus Two Thousand_, he turned and grinned at Harry. ¡§Race you!¡¨ And he shot off like a bullet.

¡§Hey! That¡¦s not fair!¡¨ yelled Harry, as he chased after Draco, the superior skills making up for the inferior broom.

Draco turned his head back and laughed. ¡§Since when have you known me to play fair? This is Draco Malfoy, remember? The one who will use every way and means to win, underhanded or otherwise!

¡§Including using my own broom to beat me!¡¨ Harry retorted, adding another spurt of speed to keep up.

¡§Yep! And that too,¡¨ Draco agreed with a laugh. He shot off again, pressing the broom to its fastest speed.

And in the sky, two black shadows were vividly outlined again the bright moon, one chasing after another in one of the oldest games ever played.

Finally, the two tire of the speed and slowed down, flying leisurely side by side in comfortable silence.

Harry looked at Draco. He knew he was happy but it didn¡¦t show on his face. It was as devoid of expression as it was when he had played the piano just now. Sometimes Harry wondered if Draco had trained himself to hide his feelings so well that he was incapable of showing them anymore. Despite that, Harry always knew exactly what Draco felt each moment. He didn¡¦t know why, he just knew. Perhaps it was because he loved him with a strength and power he didn¡¦t even know he possessed. It was such a strong and powerful love that Harry was surprised that he could carry it. Sometimes, he felt that he had loved Draco since he had been born.

Draco glanced at Harry. He was thinking again. He always had a blank look on his face when he was thinking and stared off into space. Again, Draco wondered at the love and hate he felt at the same time for the black-haired boy. He knew Harry had the same feelings for him. Love that he couldn¡¦t understand and hate for the person he was. Draco knew Harry hated the cruelness and viciousness in him, as well as his proud and aristocrat manner. What did he call it? Oh, _snobby_. What Harry didn¡¦t know was that Draco hated the basic goodness in Harry as well. He felt disdain for the way Harry was willing to sacrifice his own self for the goodness of others. That wasn¡¦t honorable, that was basic stupidity. So was letting his principles and honor stop him from winning and saving his life. Still, he knew that he loved this honorable person. He had since the moment he had met him. In fact, he probably had even before he had met him.

They probably understood each other better that anyone else did. Or could.

They said that hate was born from love. Perhaps, love could also be born from hate.

Draco started singing softly, almost unconsciously. 

### Maybe it's intuition

_But some things you just don't question_

_ _

Harry turned. It was a song sung by a Muggle group that Harry had heard before. A song he had never really noticed until now.

Like in your eyes  
I see my future in an instant  
and there it goes  
I think I've found my best friend

Draco turned to look at Harry. They smiled, thinking of what the Gryffindors¡¦ and Slytherins¡¦ faces would look like at the thought of both of them as best friends.

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe  
  


Harry silently snorted. It was more than a little crazy, alright, it was probably the craziest thing in the world. But still, he believed it.

I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life

Harry murmured the words with Draco. ¡§I knew I loved you before I met you.¡¨He felt that he had been loving Draco since he had been born.

There's just no rhyme or reason  
Only this sense of completion  
And in your eyes  
I see the missing pieces  
I'm searching for  
I think I've found my way home  
  


No reason for why they had fallen in love. It was just there the moment they had saw each other. A kind of intensity. A feeling that they had finally found what they had been searching for their entire lives.

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life

As Draco sang, the meaning in the words struck him. ¡§I knew I loved you before I met you.¡¨¡§He had probably loved him even before he had met him¡¨

A thousand angels dance around you  
I am complete now that I've found you

Realization dawned in both the green and the grey eyes. 

Draco looked into Harry¡¦s eyes and saw the tears filling the emerald jewels. He thought that he had never seen anything so beautiful. 

Harry looked into Draco¡¦ eyes and knew, even as he felt a stinging in his eyes. There was no reason for guilt anymore. Theirs was a love meant to be. They were only complete when they were together.

A/N: Well? Was that too sappy? Drop me a line to tell me! J

And here is the thanks section I promised you. First honors goes to **Reklaw Enna**. I love that girl! She reviews all the fics I wrote, slash or het and always gives the nicest comments. This is for you, Reklaw! Next, **RatheraMutenwiya **( I am going to look for your fics the moment I have a free minute, promise!), **Anonymous**, **Herminone the Goddess**, **lyra** (erm...why no? ) **darkchyle** ( hope you like this part as well J), **ali**, **Raggona**, **Puppygal**, **Sunny**. **Matrix14 **(You know how I feel about your review), **Dia** (I promise to send this to you as soon as possible, really!), **Cairnsy** (Thank you! I promise Percy another scene, not in this series though, in another one), **Rhysenn** (You probably won¡¦t like this as it¡¦s sappyJ) and lastly **Liz** ( my idea of hate stemming from love came in another direction, but yours work too! By the way...did you review twice or is it another Liz? Many thanks for your strong support anyway!)

_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize doesn¡¦t belong to me. ¡§I knew I loved you¡¨ belong to Savage Garden._


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